Hey, its been a really long time since I came back! I miss blogger. Yet, with the influx of social networking sites like twitter, facebook, etc, I have forgotten blogger. Where I shared so many precious moments and thoughts here!
Problems are never-ending. Life still goes on. I need to learn to love more rather than hate. I need to learn how to be more at peace with myself and not lose my temper at the slightest provocation. I need to stop being adamant. I need to continue on without hesitation and regret. I need to be HAPPY. I need to be satisfied and not forever expecting so much. I need to stop being greedy. I need to accept. I need to learn to forgive. I need to learn to forget. I need to learn how to communicate better with other people out there. I need to socialise. I need to be strong. I need to live life to the fullest. I need to understand people more. Especially my friends and families. I feel I have been a complete idiot in handling relationships, I need to talk to them more. I need to start cherising my family.
I need to start. Now. Yes. I. Need. Too
10:07 PM
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O Level on WEDNESDAY. So nervous!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT be kick out... This year have been so stressful from beginning of year till now non-stop of work. The break is always so short 11months already, I really hope this mental and physical torture will end sooN. I need my HOLIDAYS.
sERIOUSLY, STOP being so biased.
3:32 PM
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Maturity
I still enjoy blogging. It is a great way to express yourself and let your emotions run wild and free. It is a great way to relief stress and we can also write down happy, wonderful, satisfying moments of our life.
School holidays has been quite fruitful. Did lots of stuff and really enjoy myself. My life is hence filled with much more colours and rainbows. I wake up each day, excited and gung-ho all set and ready for the day's adventure. Regardless of how unpredictable it is. I tell myself that I am definitely gonna make the most of each day. Determined to live life to the fullest, there isnt time to waste.
I love the holidays where I can take a short break from the hectic and busy school life which is saddled with tests and homework which really makes me feel dejected. I am glad that we have a well-deserved break to charge our fuels. But there is simply no escape from the dreaded homework. No escape. But gonna take my time. Life isnt all about studying.
I love CIP. Especially doing the flag day. Asking for donations have never been so satisfying. It just gives u such a great sense of satisfaction and we are glad to be able to do our part for the less fortunate. Junction8 is a great place to ask for donations. People there are generous and human traffic is good. Add in some powerful words and BOOM, they will be touched to take out the money and put it into the tin. Even if some of them refuse to donate, the smiles they gave were priceless also giving us a deep sense of fulfillment. At least we received their sincerity. Their smiles gave us the support and motivation to carry on asking for donations. It was rewarding. The end-product was really worth it.
Class outing is a success, I guess. I havent been attending badminton training sessions for a period of time already. The hopes I once had for this particular sport has started to waver and fade. The love for this sport I once had has started to change into a deep sense of regret. A regret that I will carry throughout my life. With that, I knew I have put down the burden which I have always carried and it will cease to bother me. Just let it go. Just some weeks ago, we had a gathering. We played table tennis. And played games at the playground. I really missed my childhood days. And running around has never been that fun. I screamed, shouted and laughed. It has been a long time since I have been this happy. Appreciate this gathering and looking forward of more to come. I believe the playground will always be there regardless of age. And we are always welcome to play there. Singapore Games Creation @ NYP. I suppose it will be a brand new experience? Life is about trying and never giving up. I would have no regrets because I dared to try. And gave it my best shot.
GOtta take my bath now. Need to wake up early for Higher CHinese project tmr. Another meaningful day tmr. Looking forward............................. John signing off. I suppose it will be another year before I update?
11:23 PM
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Break
Blogging time. Yes, it is the short and pathetic 1 week March Holidays. But have been taking my well-deserved break from studying this weekend. Leading a normal life I used to lead in the past. Watching dramas, family-time, library, swimming, gym. Yeah, cool right?
Nevertheless, I am not spared from ''studying''. Joined a new Higher Chinese Tuition@ Kovan this Saturday. Those people in the group were really quiet and sort of introvert. They keep to themselves and it is a really pathetic sight to see a class like that. Can this even be called a class? Hah, maybe once a week isnt exactly enough time for a class to bond. Looks like it will be boring and only plain studying.
Come to think of it, it has been a period of three years since I last joined tuition. I used to have that thinking that tuition is a really waste of time and money because what they are teaching is basically what the school will teach. And whether u have tuition or not makes no difference at all. It all boils down to hard work at the end of a day. So people, why not save some money and valuable time? But different people have different needs so tuition cater to different types of students.
But I guess that my problem is that I didnt really learn much from HCL lessons. In addition, I am also taking the 'O' levels this year. The fact is I am not even the least prepared. I have completely no confidence in securing an A. To add on, my results have been slipping ever since Secondary1. It doesnt help by changing teachers every semester. When u have finally got used to one, they change the teachers. And something crops up again, they change again.
I dont know whats happening too. Our HCL lessons always end up saddening. It will be a feat if our teacher did not scold us for each lesson. Sad.
I hope to finish the English Newscast project by tommorrow. I need to take a break from this hectic and pressurizing life. And lead the life that I want.
11:12 PM
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Why camp sucks?
Camp sucks to the core. It totally wasted my 3D2N.
Some of the activities were great. The drinks at each meal taste good and is a refreshing change. We get to bond as a class. Some of the trainers rocks.
Then why does the camp sucks? Because OUR group's trainers sucks. The meal taste really awful. The meal is too little to satisfy our hunger pangs. Too little time is given to us for eating. Too little time is given to us for showering. We are treated as their workers when we paid $100 for the camp.
The first thing that I have noticed is that the trainers pale in comparison compared to our Peer Support Leader(PSL). I find it a disgrace that 18-20years old trainers from prestigious school such as Raffles Junior College cant even be compared to our very own PSL. And I believe these trainers get their pay. Do take note that it is some of the black sheeps not all. Unfortunately, we got one of the worst trainers. Nam cried during outdoor cooking. She is hysterical. She cried because we put chicken stock into the macaroni soup. Dont she get it? Chicken stock is necessary. Just because we have 1 vegetarian? I meant that if we dont put chicken stock, the whole group wont have meat. Are we gonna accommodate him and become vegetarian? It shows how ill-prepared the trainers are. They should have a separate meal for vegetarians. Look, this is not an insult to vegetarians. Yes, they should have their meal. But we should have our meal too. We need not go all the way to accommodate them and neither will they. The fault lies with the trainers and yet she lost her temper and made a big fuss?
The smoke goes into her eyes and she blamed it on us as we did not managed the fire properly and it died out. Hello, this is our virgin attempt on outdoor cooking and the trainer, having received proper training did not lend us a helping hand and yet have the cheek to blame us? Nam was very tired, she was sitting under the tree and taking her own self-proclamied break. When something goes wrong, she pushed all the blame on us instead of checking her own behaviour?
The activities were fun and engaging, we learnt many values too. Considering the fact that this is my first few tries in wearing a harness and yes I am a little ''stupid'' in all this technical stuffs. I had some problems wearing the harness. It was loose. I seek help. She lost her temper again. She used a very ''hush'' and mean voice on me. It was something devious and she acted like a devil. As she helped me out on my harness, she used her utmost force to force the harness onto me so that it will hurt. I can feel that she did it on purpose. But I still did enjoy the activities, her actions left me thinking.
Then, rock-climbing. Need to put harness again? Oh no, I rather not do then be her punching bag. But Mr Suhaimi handed me the harness. What could I do other than accept it? I took the harness and tried my best in wearing it. Fortunately, this harness is rather new and I have quickly learnt how to waer harness. Practice makes perfect. I was glad that I would not need to seek her help. Thanks WeiRong for his help! I climbed and failed. At least I persisted and gave it a try.
They made us carry kayaks. They made us carry floor boards. They made us picked up the litter. They made us pitch down the tent. They made us fold the tents.
It wasted a lot of our time. I thought the time could be put to better use. A lack of planning. They treated us like labourer workers after we gave them $100. We sweat for them and yet how they repaid us for helping them carry stuffs? A word of ''thank you''? A smile? Nothing, they gave us the ''ok'' look. And what made matters worst is, considering the fact that it is my virginal attempt in pitching down the tent, I dont know how to remove the tent's stick. The trainer gave me the ''are u stupid'' look. She childed me as if I was obligied to take out the stick and used her meanancing tone again. Disgusted.
Do u know why WeiRong didnt wanted to try out 2 of the high-elements? Because the trainer didnt bother to help him put on the harness, the trainer did that grugingly. And that would have spoilt our mood to continue with the high-elements. Cant the trainer just helped us politely after we have paid them a fee of $100? What kind of service. And our assistant trainer isnt any better. WeiChin was similing at him and he reprimanded and insulted him. Whats wrong with smiling? A smile brightens my day. Why are u insulting him because he is smiling? What right have u got? Is smiling a crime? He has the freedom, who are u to stop him? Who are u to threatented him that u will force grass into his mouth? Ha, but his smile is annonying at times. And our very DEAR assistant trainer wanted to help us buy Macdonalds. So sweet of him meh? He is playing a BIG joke on us. Who gave him the rights to toy with us? Who gave him the rights to trick us? Even if it is a joke, he should have told us immediately why wait till a day later? We have been holding on to false hopes and u have thoroughly crushed our hopes and destroyed our trust. Oh well, I knew it was a prank right from the start. But those poor girls trusted him and wrote their orders on a piece of paper. Still write on a piece of paper? That was really mean and ungentlemanly of him.
And after kayaking, I alighted the wrong way. I nearly fell. Not only did he not offer any concern for me, he scolded me punctuating his sentences with vulgarities. Nearly. He called me ''stupid''. He then muttered something in his mouth. Again, what right have u got to scold another person stupid? Do u even know the definition of stupid? I dont see u in any way cleverer than me. I really wonder how he is chosen as a trainer. Is being barbarian and uncivilised a quality considered for during the selection? I was utterly disappointed. I look in envy at other group's trainer. I wonder why we are so unlucky.
I wrote very BAD comments to them. Consider this a farewell ''present''. I would never want to see them again. It was a nighmare. And I am glad I woke up from it.
4:45 PM
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Quick Update
Life has been pretty different for me. A new school year. A brand new class. A brand new classmates. A brand new bunch of close friends.
But still can sit together in a table as usual during recess. Made quite a couple of new friends in 3Respect. I already knew ShaoFeng since PrimarySchool but we rarely talk and walk past each others like strangers. Even in the past two years, we really treat each other like strangers. But we are sitting together this year. We sat with each other only because there isnt any other people that we know we wants to sit with us.
It's kinda forced. But oh well, he help me with AMaths and I ask him questions whenever I dont get the explanation of teachers. Hah, and sometimes he gets really irritated.
Also, I noticed a trend in this new class. It is really different from 2Humility. The pupils in this class are really voluntaritive and have a very-very inquisitive mind. Majority of my classmates ask and pose numerous questions to the teachers of various subjects. The teachers will walk around or sit in a chair, then questions will be bombarded at them at a great speed. I was initially shocked at this way of learning... I guess I have to get used to it soon, else I will lose out alot on my studies.
Maybe I will start to ask lots of questions? And there is this guy who keeps smiling at me initially. It was quite awkward at first. But after our practical session, we managed to break the ice.
I was totally surprised to see QunJia in the first day of school at Assembly. Not because I think that he dont have the ability to go into that class. I felt that it was a major coincidence. At last someone I know...
And we tend to have lunch together. And he is very very good in Maths. The rate at which he solves those questions and the accuracy of the answers. Bravo.
It is the end of week4 already. So fast, 4 months have passed. Time passes really fast. I still cant get used to the immense pressure of Secondary3. Pressure, will I face more of them next year? Talking about next yeear, it is O Levels already and I will be going to a new JC. I am really determined to get into a good JC. People seems to despise me at the mere mention of my school. But I dont despise this school one bit. I want to prove to others that a neighbourhood school can still produce great results.
Yes, I would rather be a big fish in a small pond that a small fish in a big pond.
I suddenly thought of HigherChinese. I will be taking Olevels this year! It is gonna be a great advantage to me if I managed to secure an A1 or A2. My target is A1. However, I am having mixed feelings about this. ZhuMei seems to be teaching very little. I dont know why I feel this way. I only learned very few stuffs and there is no homework at all. I know that it is weird that I want homework but it is really a stark contrast from last year.
HuangJB is strict. But undoubtedly, she teaches well enough. I really learnt alot from her lessons. Lets just pray and hope that ZhuMei will be able to bring our whole class to a batch of A1s and A2s. And do u guys know that we need to travel to the 4th floor to have lessons? And there are always people who are late. And ZhuMei dismisses us on the dot and sometimes even earlier before the bell rings.
There is really a huge sense of insecurity. Insecure.
6:31 PM
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Am I on tv?
Did u guys watch the channel8 countdown show 2010@ Vivo City? It was a blast! I will never enjoy it as much as I do without my friends. Although we were standing throughout the show, it was worth it. We got to catch the performance LIVE. We also got up close and personal with the artistes. The ''feel'' is definitely different from watching it at home. Needless to say, the performances were great. Love the ''sorry, sorry'' dance. The instructors taught us some of the movements even before the show began. Jeanette's dance was carefully executed possessing that of a cool and vain babe. And yes, we were really HIGH yesterday, welcoming a new year 2010!!! There are song and dance, the artistes also played games.
Took the MRT home. Fortunately, the MRT was extended to 2am. Else, we will be stuck there overnight. We also had supper. McWings. Desmond and Kenneth had to leave earlier. I reached home really late, around 2am. This was my very first experience. The concert was great and everybody was in ''party'' mood.
I have never reached home this late before. And walking along the dark streetsand lanes was really creepy and errie. Maybe I will request for the tickets next year? Will I be that lucky to get the tickets every year? If I really get the ticket next year, I will most probably go with my family.
Reflection: HAAPPY NEW YEAR! SCHOOL IS REOPENING IN A FEW DAYS TIME, LETS GET READY FOR MORE FUN AND ACTION! WILL STUDY HARD TO PREPARE FOR MY O-LEVELS. I WANNA GET INTO CATHOLIC JC. SAY BYE TO OLD FRIENDS AND HELLO TO NEW ONES! (I have only made maybe 1 really really true friend. The rest are good friends but not as close. Betrayals and lies are just so common. I really cherishes my old classmates alot. We went out together on numerous occasions. Movie, gym, volunteers of library, swimming, shoppping, table tennis and the recent Vivo City Countdown. I am glad to be able to break free from betrayals and lies and embrace in newer and more true friends.)
Oh ya, I forgotten to tell u guys that Jeanette was really popular over there. With 30 over jeanius(Jeanette's official fan club), majority of them carrying boards with her name, pictures.
4:25 PM
The blogger
Johnathan. Ng. Wei. Zhao
Funky 14
15 on 20thNovember2010 .
H.1.H.S/Montfort Junior .
1.72m, 59-60kg and healthy .
Cherishes old classmates .
Appreciates friends .
